And I feel like I just got home.

Or so said Madonna in reference to becoming a mother.

Running a few minutes late again today. I was still up at 12:30 last night. I got some caffeine at dinner, so at 11:00 it seemed like a good idea to start the tidying up process.
Is caffeine a French word?

This morning I opened the windows wide. It was cool and moist, but it felt good to get the fresh air. I sat on the couch and feeling the breeze, watching the clouds, I realized I would be happier if I was looking out of a yurt onto the plain where my sheep, goats, and horses were grazing. Then again, maybe the simple life only feels that good when you know you can walk away from it.

I think I will be helping the Homies + Grandparents dye easter eggs using natural dyes. Even Martha Stewart gives directions how to do this, and I am excited to see how it works. Who would have thought that you use red cabbage to make blue eggs?

It is very frustrating to have no clients.

The art of helping people help themselves.

Bit of a headache today, wondering if it is last nights strawberries, the low pressure, dehydration, chiro work, or poor sleeping. Getting very tired of headaches.

I was just plain old running late today. Got a call from a client, and I explained I would be in by 9:30. I hopped on the train, enjoying my new umbrella, and as we descended into the first tunnel the lights and air went off. The train came to a stop. At first people were calm, then they started grumbling. The poor girl in front of me was headed to the airport, and I think my empathetic stress for her didn’t help my head. I noticed a young man that seemed anxious to get into a seat, and when he did, we winced. He was carrying a large bag, flipping through a graphic design book, and looked otherwise healthy. As I stepped off the train, I plopped a business card into his book and said, “You look like you’re in pain.” I may never hear from him, but at least I offered to help. It was my first random train-carding.

I seem to have a hard time “getting it together” recently. When I get home, I don’t feel like taking the time to get everything cleaned up and taken care of. I need a syringe full of energy and ambition. Do they have that without any negative side effects?

Along the same lines as my previous comments regarding being close to the men’s locker room…Often times I get a whiff of cologne, or aftershave from under the door. Many times it is strong and icky. Every now and again it is yummy and delicious. Guys, let me tell ya, clean and soapy is the way to go.

It is completely infuriating to have a nice dinner with some people. They are funny, charming, a truly good person, and to them, I am nothing but a way to not eat dinner alone.

There was also another weird incident in the train this afternoon. Two girls got into a yelling match. One of them was VERY loud and VERY foul mouthed. For the first few seconds it was almost funny. Then she went on and on, and kept saying how ghetto she was, and how proud of being ghetto she was. This girl had a chip on her shoulder a mile wide. I really, REALLY don’t think she realized that she wasn’t saying she was proud of her heritage or culture. She was, however saying, that she was proud of being violent, disrespectful, crude, and vulgar.

I am excited about Easter.

Dinner out with the Catpeople.

A-man with some avacado left overs.

Don't know if you can see, but there is a sign in the background that has arrows showing which way to go to head notth or south. You cannot see the arrows from any of the applicable lanes.

Let's do the time warp again...

Sorry. Last week I felt icky for a couple of days, and then I had my workshops/playing with A-man time. Went down to S & B’s Thursday night in order to be able to go straight to my workshop the next morning.

At the workshops I ended up being paired with some characters. The first day it was a very fit seventy year old man who was very funny and kept telling me how great I was. The second day it was a younger man (couldn’t tell what team he was on) who kept telling me I had Pantene hair. I was told I was good at what we were doing, so I hope it was true.

All weekend I was having vivid dreams. Several were obviously about self-confidence. A few of them had Jillo and Cgrace in them. I feel like I am in a time/space warp. Keep feeling very “high-school” and yet as though my past isn’t real, or isn’t mine. Very odd sensation. I also noticed the disconnect I sometimes feel when playing with A-man. I look at him, and this feeling of realness washes over me. He becomes VERY real instead of just a bundle of feelings in my brain. It was great fun playing with him. He is learning to say all kinds of things, and is VERY observant. He sometimes zones out and gets a “far away” look. Then he suddenly comes to life and has a questioning look on his face. Sometimes he’ll ask something or make a noise, and you realize he wants to know what it is he is hearing. I realize how many sounds I tune out (the oven popping as it heats up or the fridge vibrating), and how many are all new to him.

A big thing happened for the S & B house last week, and I am very proud of B and the guys. They have worked very hard, sacrificed a lot, and had to have immense confidence that all would work out. It is good to seem them rewarded for all of that.

My to-do list is undulating…short, long, short, long…as I remove and add things. You know sometimes I just freak out and have a magic wand moment and want to make it all happen at once. I am very immature. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

Just took a little walk around to get out of the cave. Chatted with one of the fellows who is a boxer. I continue to have a question float to the top of my thoughts. Why is it that I don’t seem to have a passion for something? Is there something out there that would be so enthralling that digging deeper would seem second nature, instead of a chore? I always recall a discussion on the subject, during which HogFrogBoy declared I was put on this earth to be a Mom. Mom is not a career that pays very well. Mom is not a career for which you can choose the start date. Mom greatness is a very subjective thing.